Collateral Damage

I am quite capable of producing large amounts of collateral damage…

I started seeing a new guy recently. I guess the "recent" part is pretty obvious, huh? He does need a blog nickname…

One thing he does really well is play rough. My verbal and physical assaults are returned on an essentially equal basis. There is obviously something wrong with me, but I consider this a worthwhile trait. Fair play, and all that…

However…most of his friends are not exactly in the same league…bet you can guess where this is going? Sounds familiar…

Last night was a good night for me. It's been awhile since I've managed to inflict that much social harm in one sitting. I am pretty proud of myself. Unfortunately, I think he kind of likes having friends…can't imagine why…they aren't that much fun if you can't pick on them…

We really shocked one girl, too. I was talking to someone else, and made a nasty side comment about my date. He punched me in the arm. I didn't even notice, way too busy talking, but this girl was just shocked. "You don't hit girls!" So, to make her feel better, I turned around and smacked him. Then one of his friend chimed in (the only one I've met so far capable of playing my game), "She's violent. You can hit her." Obviously, I've abused him before. I don't think the girl had any idea what to say after that.

A friend suggested a disclaimer. That sounds like a really good idea. I need a catchy phrase. I'll make t-shirts. Voila! Instant disclaimer! Open to suggestions…